Prague Quadrennial Blogs

So Prague Quadrennial 2007 is almost upon us, and now we are all organized and ready to go. Like hell we are! I don’t even have a place to stay yet, or packed my bags (I leave day after tomorrow), or bought all the things I need to buy for it. So I thought I’d take this opportunity, not to do something productive like book accomodation, but to do something innocuous like make a list of things we all could bring:

1. Food and/or alcohol from your home country, so that everyone else may have a taste.
2. Deodorant. Apparently the Industrial Palace is an incredibly hot venue with no air conditioning. You will sweat, and you will smell.
3. Spare clothes (see point 2).
4. Extra money. If you are an un-seasoned traveller you will look like a tourist, no matter how hard you try, and you will be ripped off. If you are a seasoned traveller you already know that you cannot avoid looking like a tourist, so at least you won’t mind when you are ripped off.
5. Finally, don’t forget your passport, dumbass!

As soon as I wrote number 5 I realized that I haven’t seen my passport since February. I’m going to look for it now. Bear with me…

It’s okay, I found it, and it’s mine. I have to check these days, since I accidentally took my sister’s passport to Cork with me a few years ago. Luckily no-one checked it, because I don’t think anyone would believe that I was my sister, not even the Irish police, and they believe anything!

So I’m off to the off-licence to buy a big bottle of Irish whiskey. I will probably end up staying with Rodrigo Cortes, the Mexican designer from, well, Mexico, who is bringing a bottle of tequila. I’m not sure that this is a good idea. The last time I drank tequila was on my 21st birthday, eight years ago. I clearly remember drinking two shots, deciding to be sensible and going to bed. Many, many eyewitnesses later convinced me that these are false memories, and that I drank considerably more than two shots, and did considerably more than go to bed. Dancing was involved, but luckily no-one was injured.

My bank account is stressed out. It can’t understand why I don’t give it money, and why I keep taking money out of it. It feels that we have a very one-sided relationship. I have just applied for funding from a private organization based in Northern Ireland to try and get some money to go to Prague, thus showing my bank account that I really do care about it. Here is the conversation between me and my bank account. It’s a little surreal, so please try to keep up. In order to make it as easy as possible for everyone, I have put it into a format most of us should be familiar with - that of a play:

A room with a computer, a mac mini with an old Dell monitor, with no base so that it wobbles from side to side, and a cheap office chair from Argos. Enter Will, a theatre designer in his late twenties. He is tired, and slumps down in the chair. His shoulders are hunched more than they should be. He switches on the computer, and it loads with a triumphant dong.

WILL: Okay, Abbey business banking. Username, password, enter.
BANK ACCOUNT: Hi Will!
WILL: Hi Bank Account. How’s things?
BANK ACCOUNT: Not too bad, considering you never give me any money, you useless waste of space.

Will is hurt by this remark.

WILL: Hey! Why did you say that? There’s no need to insult me.
BANK ACCOUNT: Sorry Will. It’s just my instincts. Being part of a large multi-national banking corporation I feel it’s my duty to demean you at every possible opportunity.
WILL: That’s okay.
BANK ACCOUNT: By the way, while you were logging in, I stole the cash out of your wallet.
WILL: Oh. Can I have it back?
BANK ACCOUNT: No. It’s already gone into administration costs. Anyway, what do you want?
WILL: I need some money.
BANK ACCOUNT: Oh here we go. You only ever get in touch when you want money. Yet you never actually give me any. Why the hell not? What do you do, anyway? Everyone else in the world has a job, but you just seem to lay about the house all day.
WILL: I work in theatre, Bank Account. I’m a designer.

Bank Account is impressed, but tries to hide it.

BANK ACCOUNT: Well that must mean that you make a whole pile of money. Designers are always rolling in it. And theatre people too, they’re always partying like there’s no tomorrow.

Will begins to laugh hysterically. Bank Account doesn’t know what the joke is, and is annoyed.

WILL: Nothing could be further from the truth. Very few people in theatre actually make any real money, most just get by.
BANK ACCOUNT: Fine, whatever. What do you want the money for?
WILL: I want to go to Prague, to the Prague Quadrennial.
BANK ACCOUNT (outraged): Prague!! I can barely afford to pay for my weekly lobster and champagne, and you want to go to fucking Prague?
WILL: Bank Account, please watch your language. This is going on a public blog and we don’t know if kids read it or not.
BANK ACCOUNT: Sorry Will, you’re quite right. If kids were to read this they would laugh at our out-dated use of swear words.
WILL: Exactly. Also, they may become angry and retaliate by mugging an old person in the street. Lobster and champagne?
BANK ACCOUNT: I already told you that I’m part of a large multi-national banking corporation, and you’re still surprised that I rip you off?
WILL: Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot.
BANK ACCOUNT: That’s okay. Hey, is that Tom Hanks walking past the house?

While Will looks to see, Bank Account steals Will’s mobile phone.

WILL: No, it was an old lady with a walking stick.
BANK ACCOUNT: Ah well, easy mistake to make. Here’s the deal, chump: I could give you the money, but that’s all you get. There’s no more after that. Kapish?
WILL: Okay. What are my alternatives?
BANK ACCOUNT: You could go get a real job like everyone else, but something tells me you couldn’t hack it. The real world is unkind to your people.
WILL: My people? Who are my people?
BANK ACCOUNT: Homosexuals. Everyone knows the theatre world is full of queers. That’s a fact. Look it up.
WILL (astounded): But I’m not gay!!
BANK ACCOUNT: When was the last time you had sex with a woman?
WILL: I’m not answering that.
BANK ACCOUNT: Can’t remember, eh? Maybe you’re not a poof. Maybe you’re asexual.
WILL: I find this conversation demeaning and demoralizing.
BANK ACCOUNT: Thank you very much. I do try.
WILL: Can we get back to the topic at hand? I’m not getting another job, and I need money, so what can I do?
BANK ACCOUNT: You need to find someone else to give you money. Find some gullible fool who doesn’t know the value of money, and extort the pennies out of him. Kind of like the way I found you.
WILL: I can’t do that. I’m too nice.
BANK ACCOUNT: Damn right, the nice ones are the easiest to fool. Your other option is to apply to the Bank Account Large Loan Society, or BALLS for short. The BALLS are big, and they provide big loans, with big interest tagged on. Oh wait, even though you’re sucker enough to fall for that scam, you still don’t have any money to pay them back. Okay, your final option is this, the Drama Circle Theatre Trust.
WILL: Drama Circle Theatre Trust?
BANK ACCOUNT: Yep, they give money to meatheads like you for sitting on your arse doing theatre related stuff.
WILL: Wow. Bank Account, why would you help me out like this?
BANK ACCOUNT: Because if you run out of money completely, I’ll have to dump your arse. Banks operate on a parasitical basis, which means that we can’t bleed you dry, or else our supplies will run out too.
WILL: Thanks alot. I’m going to find out about them. See you later, Bank Account.
BANK ACCOUNT: Get lost, moron.

Will looks up the Drama Circle Theatre Trust’s website, and gets excited. He immediately fills out the online application form, and sits back, pleased with himself. While he was doing this, Bank Account tranferred all of his money into a private bank account, to earn interest for itself. When Will wants his money back, Bank Account may or may not comply.

We’ve just added a range of Prague travel books to our Theatre Design Bookstore, including (in the UK Shop) the rather promisingly titled “Good Beer Guide Prague” (sadly i can’t drink… but hopefully i will be too busy to be tempted)

Check out the books in the books in our stores :

Theatre Design Bookstore (UK)

Theatre Design Bookstore (USA)

Copyright 2007 Graham Crichton Photography

This entry will serve as an introduction to me as well as a piece of musings on Prague, the Quadrennial and Scenofest. The photo is so that you can see who’s talking to you. There’s an awful lot going to happen in ten days in June. How do you decide what to do, what to look at and what to ignore? Well, you have to figure out why you’re going in the first place. For many, the Prague Quadrennial will be an exercise in learning, a way to meet some of the best and most talented people in the theatre world, and hopefully pick up a point or two. For many more it will be an exercise in drinking huge quantities of cheap Czech beer and getting laid (always a favourite), and maybe showing your face at the exhibition, with a hangover.

And what about me? Will I be a studious visitor, the first to arrive in the morning and the last to leave at night, meticulously documenting and photographing as much as possible for future reference? Or will I be in a back alley bar, drinking Budvar by the tankard and trying to debauch the barmaids? Hopefully I will be doing all of these! Of course the debauching is always an uncertainty, and I had actually hoped to strike it off my list altogether. Last year I fell madly in love with a costume designer, but I was going travelling around Europe, so I couldn’t do anything about it. When I returned I discovered that while I had been away she had started dating someone else, a musician no less. Life is cruel. But I digress…

I came to theatre only recently, I began as a lighting technician, then moved on to lighting design, and finally onto set design. Having had no training other than what I could pick up from my co-workers and whatever books I could find, PQ and Scenofest are going to be a huge learning experience for me. In fact, travelling around Europe was also a learning experience, it’s amazing how some geographical areas are ripe for new and original ideas, while others are stagnant. Inspiration-wise, the two most influential places for me were the Dance Museum in Stockholm, and the Bauhaus Archive in Berlin. If you ever get the opportunity to visit these places, you should. While we’re on the subject, other notable places are the National Theatre in Budapest, the theatre scenes in Germany and Italy, and the Staatsoper in Vienna - you can get a standing place for the show, thus allowing you to see some of the greatest opera in the world for just €3 (wear comfortable shoes).

While in Prague I also hope to do a little sightseeing. I avoided the city while travelling because I knew I would be coming here anyway in June, so it will be interesting to have a look around. I fear I may be disappointed, however. I’ve been told that Prague is very classical, very beautiful and also rather old. I find this incredibly boring. I like new things, new buildings and ideas, and charming, quaint gothic architecture holds very little interest for me. Paris is a city full of old world charm, and I couldn’t wait to get out of it. I find it very amusing that so many people are taken with gothic and classical architecture, and reject modern architecture in any form, believing that the gothic and classical are how real buildings should look. What they don’t realise is that once upon a time gothic style was very new and very radical, and that just as many people hated it then, preferring their older style buildings, which were much more established. People have a tendency to reject the new in favour of the old, and while I don’t automatically reject the old in favour of the new, I certainly give the new preference, at least while it still is new.

So, in summary, here is my list of things I plan to do while in Prague (in no particular order):

1. Spend several days just walking around the events, orientating myself and soaking up the atmosphere

2. Make at least three new friends whom I can work with in the future

3. Find five really good ideas and shamelessly use them in my own designs

4. Find the inventor of one truly original idea and offer to work for him/her/it

5. Find someone who thinks in a totally different way to me and pick their brains

6. Be a tourist and go sightseeing

7. Attend some seminars and hopefully learn something

8. Keep a diary/blog

9. Get drunk!

10. Get laid!

And I can do all these because I am in the fortunate position of being able to take a month off work and I have just enough money to get by. Life is kind, but I digress…

I paid for my flights to Prague today with EasyJet (UK to Prague) and was quite happy to see that even in february prices were low £50 return in fact! (that’s 75EUR or 97USD) I’m flying out on the 9th of June as i may well be working on a number of projects at the PQ07 in advance to the official opening, i did notice that tickets for around the 14th were getting a little more pricey so it’s well worth booking now!

It’s also worth checking out the official PQ07 carrier more details at this PQ page. However for me the discounts still made it a far more expensive option than EasyJet.

Where to stay? Although i never made it to PQ03 i did book it (unfortunately i fell ill and couldn’t attend) so i know how hard it can be to find somewhere to stay, chances are if you try and find a hotel online you may find many are already starting to hike their prices up… Prague International Travel Agency (official travel agents for PQ07) however have preliminary booked a large number of Hotels in Prague at a discounted rate.  The Hotel i’m staying in (Hotel Expo) is fully booked and more expensive when i looked through tthe likes of expedia - so it’s well worth giving them a look!